Heidegger

Cologne/Bonn 15-Mar-2007

A new 500-page report released today by the UN University at the German
town of Bonn comes to findings that are sure to heat up the debate on
global warming. The focus to date has been on the carbon dioxide
emissions from sources such as power plants and fossil-fuel driven
vehicular transportation, but the report points with hard data to the
hundreds of millions of tonnes of carbon dioxide, along with smaller
quantities of combustible methane, released into the atmosphere each
year by human exhalation and expulsion. Not only a statistically
significant correlation, but also an aetiological concatenation have
been established between calorie intake and carbon dioxide exhalation
rates which account for a high degree of variability. For instance, an
obese wind-bag makes a much greater contribution to CO2 exhalations than
an uptight, shallow-breathing anorectic.

The presenter of the report, Prof. Donta Breeve, was careful to point
out, however, that every human being contributes to CO2 emissions and
that there must be no encouragement given to those wanting to initiate a
witch-hunt on heavy exhalers. Prof. Breeve also drew attention to the
fact that certain of the world’s religions may have a special
contribution to make to solving the exhalation problem. Thus, for
instance, the Christian theology of inspiration (lit. ‘breathing in’) of
the Holy Spirit may be more amenable to a doctrine of less exhalation,
because in this way the Holy Spirit is more likely to be kept inside the
believer’s body. He underscored, however, that the growing global
exhalation problem had to be dealt with in a way compatible with
universal human rights, without making distinctions based on religion,
race, age, body weight or sex. The approach must be universal and
scientific, the report urges, not moralistic. The report, whose authors
are predominantly socially minded European scientists, therefore rejects
the U.S. proposal to set up an exhalation rights trading scheme, because
this would disadvantage the world’s poorer nations. Rational, humanistic
politics must be given primacy, it says, not the irrational free-for-all
of neo-liberal markets.

The report proposes simple measures to deflate the dangerous, partially
explosive bubble posed by global human exhalation and explusion, the
main one being the introduction of World Hold Your Breath Days on which,
worldwide, people would be called upon to discreetly refrain from
exhalation. Demand for Indian yogis, who are expert at breathing
techniques, is expected to skyrocket, and environmental groups are
already proposing the construction of large bell-jars over celebratory
zones in metropolitan centres for conveniently located, voluntary,
community expiration on public holidays declared as Hold Your Breath
Days. Based on the report’s findings, Prof. Donta Breeve was confident
that with such measures, the world would quickly lessen the atmospheric
carbon load represented by exhalation and other expulsive pressures.
Targets of 20-30 per cent exhalation reduction within the space of one
year are not unrealistic, according to the report, if people, as Prof.
Breeve put it, are “truly committed to doing their bit to help humanity
and do not cheat by letting out wind via alternative routes”.
Power-generation companies and automobile manufacturers, in particular,
welcomed the report, saying that it represented an important
perspectival correction to the scientific assessment of the causal
factors underlying global warming.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_- artefact text and translation _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_- made by art _-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ http://www.webcom.com/artefact/ _-_-_-_- artefact at t-online.de _-_
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_ Dr Michael Eldred -_-_-
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Posted on Thursday, March 15th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
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